AI chatbots and kids are becoming increasingly intertwined, and what children are asking artificial intelligence may surprise parents. Young people aren’t only using AI to finish homework, research school projects, or generate funny pictures. Some are asking AI about relationships, puberty, sexual health, frightening online experiences, and deeply personal problems.

New research from Thorn on youth online safety found that 67% of surveyed minors ages 9 to 17 had used AI chatbots or companions. More than one in four, 29%, reported using these tools for private or personal reasons. Twenty-one percent used them for advice about romantic feelings, while 18% sought information about puberty or sexual health.

Even more striking, 30% of surveyed minors said they turned to an AI chatbot or companion when something confusing or upsetting happened to them or someone else. Among minors who had experienced an online sexual interaction, 15% sought advice from an AI tool afterward.

Secure Children’s Network spoke directly with Amanda Goharian, Director of Research & Insights at Thorn, about what these findings mean for parents and how families can help children use AI safely.

Why Are Kids Talking to AI Chatbots About Personal Problems?

It is tempting to interpret the numbers as evidence that children would rather talk to artificial intelligence than their parents. Goharian says that isn’t what Thorn’s research establishes.

“I’m not sure I would frame it as children choosing AI instead of parents. Our research suggests it’s a bit more complicated than that. What we are seeing is that AI tools have become another place young people turn when they’re trying to understand something confusing, embarrassing, or emotionally difficult.”

Some of the subjects children are discussing with AI are topics young people have struggled to bring to adults long before artificial intelligence existed. The difference is that AI offers something a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend usually cannot: immediate access at any hour without an uncomfortable face-to-face conversation. “AI chatbots and companions are available 24/7, respond immediately, and don’t make young people worry about feeling embarrassed or judged or having to find the ‘right’ words.”

This is particularly important because Thorn’s research found that fear, shame, and concerns about judgment can prevent children from seeking in-person support following troubling online experiences. That doesn’t mean Goharian believes parents should simply take AI away. “The goal isn’t to stop children from using AI. It’s to make sure they understand where AI can be helpful and where it simply isn’t a substitute for the judgment, care, and support that trusted adults provide.”

“…AI tools have become another place young people turn when they’re trying to understand something confusing, embarrassing, or emotionally difficult.”

Are AI Chatbots Safe for Kids Seeking Emotional Support?

An AI chatbot can sound remarkably understanding. It can respond sympathetically, continue a conversation, and produce an answer that appears thoughtful and confident. But sounding empathetic and possessing human judgment are very different things.

“The challenge is that while AI can sound empathetic, it isn’t capable of exercising human judgment. It can’t reliably recognize when a child is being manipulated, groomed, exploited, or experiencing a mental health crisis. It doesn’t have accountability, and it can’t independently recognize when a child needs intervention from a trusted adult or professional.”

This distinction becomes especially important when children move beyond asking AI factual questions and begin relying on it for advice about serious situations. Goharian believes parents should consider AI with some of the same caution they have traditionally taught children to use elsewhere online. “We spend a lot of time telling children to be careful about talking to strangers online, and I think it’s worth asking whether we’re applying that same level of scrutiny to AI systems. Just because something feels supportive doesn’t mean it’s equipped to provide the right support.”

AI can still be useful for learning, brainstorming, creativity, and ordinary questions. The concern is what happens when children begin using it for situations requiring judgment, context, or intervention. “When children are looking for guidance about relationships, abuse, sexual health, or something frightening that’s happened to them, those are conversations where human judgment and connection still matter enormously.”

Warning Signs a Child May Be Relying Too Much on an AI Chatbot

Parents may wonder whether frequent AI use itself should be considered a warning sign. Goharian says not necessarily. Children increasingly use artificial intelligence for school, creativity, research, and everyday questions. Instead of focusing solely on screen time or how frequently a child opens an AI tool, parents should look at whether the child’s relationships and behavior are changing.

“Does your child increasingly prefer talking to AI over trusted people in their life? Have they become more secretive about how they’re using technology? Are they relying on AI as their primary source of emotional support or decision-making? Have they started withdrawing from friends, family, or activities they previously enjoyed?”

The key question isn’t simply how much AI my child is using. It’s what role is AI beginning to play in my child’s life? “Ultimately, it’s less about how often they’re using AI and more about whether AI is replacing healthy relationships and support systems.”

Researchers are still learning what healthy and unhealthy relationships with AI will look like as children grow up with increasingly sophisticated technology. Goharian acknowledges that there are questions researchers cannot yet answer. “As AI becomes more integrated into young people’s lives, understanding what healthy versus unhealthy patterns of engagement look like remains an outstanding priority.”

What Should Parents Do If a Child Shares Personal Information With AI?

A parent who discovers intimate conversations between their child and an AI chatbot may immediately want to confiscate the device, delete the app, or demand to know why the child didn’t come to them. Goharian recommends beginning somewhere else. “The first step is to stay calm and curious.”

A parent’s initial reaction can influence whether the child comes to them the next time something uncomfortable happens. “If a child worries they’re immediately going to lose access to technology, get into trouble, or simply doesn’t know how you might respond, they’re much less likely to be honest about what happened.” Instead of beginning with punishment, Goharian suggests parents ask questions such as: “Can you tell me what you were using it for?” or “What were you hoping it would help you with?” Those questions shift the conversation away from What did you do? and toward What did you need?

Once parents understand why the child turned to AI, they can discuss privacy, explain the limitations of AI-generated advice, and remind the child that a chatbot isn’t equivalent to a trusted adult, doctor, therapist, counselor, or other qualified professional. The ultimate goal is bigger than resolving one AI conversation. “The goal is for your child to leave that conversation feeling safer coming to you next time, not more afraid to tell you.”

How Parents Can Help Kids Use AI Chatbots Safely

Parents do not have to become artificial intelligence experts to help their children navigate AI safely.

Goharian’s most important recommendation is surprisingly simple: don’t wait until something goes wrong to start talking about AI.

“The single most important thing parents can do is make AI an ordinary topic of conversation before there’s a problem.”

Ask children which AI tools they’re using. Ask what they enjoy about them. Ask what kinds of questions they ask. Parents can also occasionally ask what answers surprised them or whether an AI chatbot has ever given them advice that didn’t seem right.

These conversations provide an opportunity to explain that AI can be useful without being infallible.

“Help them understand that AI can be a useful tool, but it also has limitations. It can give inaccurate advice, it doesn’t understand context the way people do, and it isn’t a substitute for trusted adults when something important or upsetting happens.”

The Best AI Safety Tool Parents Have Isn’t an App

Artificial intelligence will continue changing. The AI tools children use next year may look very different from the ones they use today.

Parents aren’t realistically going to monitor every prompt, chatbot conversation, app, platform, or technological development.

But they can establish something that remains useful regardless of which technology comes next: a relationship in which their child believes it is safe to ask for help.

That means talking about AI before there’s an AI emergency. It means making sure children know that admitting an online mistake won’t automatically result in shame or punishment. And it means helping children recognize when a digital tool should give way to a real person.

Goharian’s final advice to parents brings the issue back to something decidedly low-tech:

“Technology will continue to change, but the value of having a trusted adult your child feels comfortable talking to won’t. As AI becomes a bigger part of childhood, maintaining that open line of communication is probably the most important safeguard parents have.”

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